Till Death Do Us Part
by IkeaGoddess
Summary: Starts during bk 4. Eric has lost his memory due to the spell and is staying at Sookie's. What would happen if he regained his memory at the same time the spell is broken? Both S's & E's POV, slightly OOC. Some True Blood added for fun. Rated M for lemons
1. Chapter 1: Dazed and Confused

Disclaimer: Eric & Sookie do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Charlaine Harris. I'm just taking them for a spin around the block. I might throw in a little True Blood along the way too. Not sure yet.

This story starts during book 4. Eric has lost his memory due to the spell and is staying in Sookie's house. If you need some help remembering what happened in book four of the Southern Vampire Mysteries, I recommend reading MoonStoneFairy89's story The Void. It tells the events from Eric's POV. You can read it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4837242/1/The_Void

My Sookie and Eric are more of a NC17 version compared to Charlaine's rated PG13. My Eric is a bit darker, has a foul mouth, and the sex is very explicit. Consider yourself warned.

I usually listen to music when I write, so to set the tone I'll include my music choice for each chapter.  
Song: Led Zepplin Dazed and Confused http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=OaPEOdefOq0&feature=PlayList&p=8DEF829CCF91FF91&index=0&playnext=1

* * *

Chap 1 - Dazed and Confused: EPOV

Been dazed and confused for so long its not true  
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you  
Gonna love you baby, here I come again

* * *

I woke up in a box, an unknown box. I had no recollection how I got here. I patted myself down in search of weapons I could use. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! I never leave the house without at least a knife and a small stake. Something was very wrong. Where was I?

I closed my eyes and searched the area trying to sense any danger. I was focusing on spreading my influence out from me when I noticed it. It felt like a small human and it felt... _happy_. Who was that? I concentrated, mentally creeping closer from the sidelines. It was a woman, I heard her voice singing along to a song on the radio.

The scene playing before my eyes showed her dancing and singing in her kitchen, while putting away dishes. She was barefoot and I feasted my eyes on her shapely unclothed legs. My eyes moved slowly up her body, never missing an inch. She was wearing some sort of over-sized t-shirt that was sliding over one of her shoulders. Her long blond hair was in a loose ponytail exposing her perfect neck. My fangs popped down and I yearned to taste her. I simply knew she would be delicious.

She was dancing with her back towards me so I had full view of her nice round ass. I had the urge to reach out and squeeze it, to push it on my hard cock. In that moment she turned around and I could read the writing on her t-shirt: _Fangtasia - the bar with a bite_. Fuck me, she was wearing _my_ shirt. At that point I hadn't thought I could get any harder, but apparently I was mistaken. She was mine, Sookie was mine.

Her sweet voice became louder, more clear. She was moving towards me. Could it be that I was in her house? What the fuck? What was I doing here? Who the fuck cares?

I could even smell her now. Her delicious mouthwatering scent floods me, intoxicating me, making me want her even more.

I quickly open the latch in front of me and stand up. I look down to see I am wearing nothing but a pair of black tight retro shorts that leave nothing to the imagination. Perfect, dressed to impress.

A smug smile was plastered on my face as Sookie opened the door to the small room I was in. She was just like in my daydream. She was smiling at me while her eyes took me in.

"Come here, sleepy head. I missed you." she said as she opened her arms to me.

I knew this couldn't possibly be real, but I didn't give a shit. It was the best dream ever and it was about to get even better. I was prepared to take full advantage of the moment.

I took a step towards her, held her head between my hands, and pulled her to me. My lips found her willing mouth and my tongue gently slid against hers. The kiss deepened as my hand wandered down her back to firmly grip her ass pulling her against my hard body. Her hands were all over me, pulling me closer as if that were even possible. She was grinding against me with her leg wrapped around my hip. I could feel her heat through the thin scraps of cloth that were separating us.

I broke our kiss and started placing small kisses behind her ear while holding her in one hand by the nap of her neck. I slowly nipped, kissed, and licked my way down her neck to her shoulder. She moaned my name. Never did a sound feel so good.

The spot inside me that belonged to my bond with Sookie was filled with light. It started to expand and spread through me, filling me, surrounding me, engulfing me. What was she doing to me? I have never felt like this. I had to have her now. I couldn't hold back any longer. My mind took a leave of absence as my blood took over.

I ripped the t-shirt off her body exposing the most magnificent pair of breasts I have ever set eyes on. I give each a rough squeeze before I tear her panties from her body. The sight of her exposed sex makes me roar.

I look up in surprise when I hear Sookie giggle. She is looking straight into the eyes of a 1000 year old Viking vampire about to ravage her and she is smiling.

"Does the big bad Viking want to come out and play?" she asks in a Tweety voice and raises one eyebrow teasing me.

She was very much my match and I intended to show her just how well we fit together. "Watch out what you ask for, Sookie." I answered with a smirk.

I locked on to one of her breasts, taking her taut nipple into my mouth while my other hand pressed hard onto her sex. I could feel her wet folds, my fingers were dripping in her juices. I pulled away from her plump breasts and stuck one of my fingers that were just a mere second ago in the promised land into my mouth.

"You are delicious, lover. And so ready for me. I think it is time for this Viking to rock your boat." I grinned at her as I pinned both of her hands above her head to the wall with my one hand. I used my other hand to hold her up against the wall as I slowly entered her. Sliding into her tight, wet pussy was pure magic. I felt her expanding, taking me in. I am pleasantly surprised that she can take all of me in. I pull back and thrust into her to the hilt. A loud moan escapes my lover's lips and I can feel that she is full of want for more, for me. I pound into her without restraint. I have never felt so alive, so consumed by one being.

I safely captured her in my arms before pulling her away from the wall. I continue to pound into her while supporting her small frame. She arched her head back, bringing my face to her glorious breasts. She was spread before me like an offering. This is where I wanted to be the rest of my existence. I growled before I started attacking her breasts with my mouth, teasing and biting her nipples till she was crying my name.

I slid my fangs along her firm breasts, indenting the skin but not puncturing it. I was in a haze, utterly enclosed in Sookie. I could feel the pull start in my stomach, winding its way down. I met her eyes, they were watching me.

Her hand went to her breast. She was holding it out to me. "Drink, lover."

I didn't think, I reacted. My fangs broke the skin surrounding her nipple as my mouth sucked it between my teeth. Her blood filled my mouth. My ears registered Sookie screaming my name alongside her god's. Her pussy was clasping down on me as I filled her with my essence. My mind was consumed by light. Light was running through my veins, spreading throughout me. I have truly never felt this good. I gently licked the puncture marks, closing them.

Suddenly something snapped. I could see myself standing in a completely white space, with no beginning and end, and pictures were falling from above. Piling up on the floor around me I saw they were animated. I watched me soak up Sookie in what I assumed was her shower. A loud moan made me look to my right were I saw us making love under the stars.

Then the voices all came crashing in at once. I couldn't tell them apart. I couldn't control them, they were taking over, flooding me with images. Memories, my memories, yes, I was certain these were my memories.

I felt my body weakening and brought Sookie and me slowly to the floor. She was straddling me and my head was still buried in her chest. I was holding on to her for dear life. She was the anchor to my sanity. My body went in lock-down. The only thing functioning was my mind.

The images were falling into a certain order, one stacked up behind the next and the noise decreased to a load murmur, like when you're in a bar or any closed space with lots of people. I could now pull images out at random and watch them. I dimly registered that the Sookie I stll held in my arms was screaming and pushing me, while I watched a memory of Sookie washing my feet after she had found me. She was so beautiful in that moment.

When a very distressed and upset Sookie pulled my head back by my hair, I was pulled back into the now and opened my eyes. She was frantic. Her breasts were smeared with blood. She put one hand on each side of my face tightly and pulled my face up, so she could look into my eyes.

"Eric, what is wrong? What just happened?"

I couldn't answer her. My mind was barely holding on as it was. I felt more bloody tears running down my face.

"Oh my God, you remember! The curse is broken." I felt her happiness, then her relief, and then sadness and grief flooding my bond with her.

The memories were becoming harder to hold back, I had to get out of here. I had to get out before I lost control again. _Go now_. I jumped into my old pair of jeans that had been laying on a chair and ran out the door. I left just I had come. Barefoot and minus a shirt, I ran into the woods behind her house. The emotions flooded me, just as the images did. I sank to my knees and let out a battle cry that had once made my enemies tremble and flee from my presence.

* * *

So how do you like my twist of the events? I wanted to give Eric a good dose of what Sookie must feel like when her shields are down. I hope I succeeded a bit.  
It will get a bit sad and angsty for the next couple of chapters, but I will make it up to you later on, promise. After all Eric isn't just a tall glass of water, he's more like a tall glass of Viking lemonade ;-) *insert VikingBattleCry at any random given time, because its just that good*


	2. Chapter 2: Its All Over But The Crying

Disclaimer: Eric & Sookie do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Charlaine Harris. I'm just taking them for a spin around the block. I might throw in a little True Blood along the way too. Not sure yet.

This story starts during book 4. Eric has lost his memory due to the spell and is staying in Sookie's house. If you need some help remembering what happened in book four of the Southern Vampire Mysteries, I recommend reading MoonStoneFairy89's story The Void. It tells the events from Eric's POV. You can read it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4837242/1/The_Void

My Sookie and Eric are more of a NC17 version compared to Charlaine's rated PG13. My Eric is a bit darker, has a foul mouth, and the sex is very explicit. Consider yourself warned.

So far Eric woke up in Sookie's house with the spell broken. Unaware of what has happened between them, he has sex with her and drinks her blood. With her blood in his body, the memories come trickling into his mind. He runs out of Sookie's house without a word wearing only a pair of jeans.

Here is my musical inspiration for this chapter.  
Song: Garbage It's All Over But The Crying http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=xwS3_B4axn0&feature=PlayList&p=8DEF829CCF91FF91&index=1&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

* * *

Chap 2 - It's All Over But The Crying: SPOV

Certain things just happen when you make no plans

And love can really tear you up and it can break you down

Everything you think you know baby is wrong

And everything you think you had baby is gone

* * *

I could still hear the echo of the back door slamming shut, when my phone started to ring. I was in auto-pilot mode as I walked into the kitchen and picked up the landline. I didn't have a chance to state my name or say hello.

"Sookie, what happened? I minute ago I was unable feel my master, it was as if he was… _gone_. Sookie, what is going on?" Pam's voice was full of panic. She talked in such a rush, it was actually quite hard to distinguish the individual words. This wasn't the cool, calm, and collected vampire I knew.

I decided to follow the honest route. "I think the curse is broken." As is my heart, I wanted to add, but Pam wouldn't be interested in that.

"I have hoped as much. The witch Hallow unfortunately died today during the day. I would have enjoyed having some more fun with her." Pam was silent for a bit, before she continued, "But why is my master feeling despair? If the curse is broken, why is he not happy?"

As if to answer her question, we heard an earth shattering cry. It sent chills down my spine. "Did you hear that?" I asked Pam.

"In more ways than one." Pam replied and went silent again. After a while she asked in a soft voice, "Sookie, what exactly happened?"

What should I answer? How much should I tell her? I decided honesty had served me well so far, I might as well stick to it. This was Pam I was talking to after all. She was as close to family as Eric had. "Well, we, ...ehmm…we had sex and …"

"Good for you." Pam interrupted. "Carry on." I could actually hear her smile. Not exactly what I had expected.

"Well, ehmm, after…, you know, he sort of had a break down. He dropped to his knees and didn't move after that. He just stared into space not saying a word. Like when you guys go into down-time, except he didn't snap out of it. I had to pull his hair to get through to him. And then he just jumped up, pulled on his jeans, and ran away from me as if the devil himself were after him." Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

"Interesting. Are you OK, Sookie, did he hurt you?" Pam inquired with what sounded like genuine concern for my well-being. Looks like Eric wasn't the only one behaving strangely today.

"I'm unharmed, Pam." Looking down on my still naked and blood-smeared self, I added "Nothing a shower won't cure."

"You do that. I will call when I find out more. Oh and Sookie, don't go after him. At this point I don't know if he may be dangerous or not." And with not so much as a good-bye, Pam hung up. Vampires, someone should really teach them basic phone courtesy.

All of the sudden I felt tired, the days events had drained the energy out of me. I dragged my feet up to the bathroom and got into the shower. The warm water helped my body relax a bit. Why did Pam think Eric might be dangerous? He hadn't looked angry, more like sad, and maybe even disappointed. I will never forget the haunted look in his blood-rimmed eyes when I finally got through his catatonic shell. Oh my God, what did I do wrong? Did he hate me for falling in love with him or for not stopping him having feelings for me – a mere human? Was he appalled that he had wanted to give everything up for me? Or did he loathe me for killing Debbie Pelt and making him dispose of the body? That must be it – he hated me, was maybe even disgusted by me… the tears were streaming done my face in the anonymity of the shower. There really is no better place to let go and cry. I slid along the tiled wall and sat at the bottom of the shower hugging my legs. I wasn't capable of more than crying and breathing. To be honest, I was wallowing in self-pity. By the time I realized the hot water had run out, I was freezing and my skin was covered in goose-bumps.

Hours later I found myself on my bed in a similar state to Eric's earlier that evening. I didn't move, except for the never-ending tears running down my face. My mind kept circling around the look on Eric's face when he lost it and how he ran off. I must have dozed off at one point, because when I recalled his battle cry it pierced through my mind and I sat up abruptly, opening my eyes. I was still a bit out of it, otherwise I would have realized directly that the phone was ringing off the hook.

I dragged my tired body out of bed (in my book sex and a crying fit equals a fitness studio workout any day, no wonder I was tired) and picked up the receiver.

"Hi, Sookie speaking." I usually answered the phone all chirpy and such, but today I just didn't have it in me. Standing in my kitchen, looking out the window, I realized the sky was turning pink, which meant the sun would be up soon. Who the hell would call me at this ungodly hour?

My question was answered by, "Of course, who else would it be. Did I wake you, Sookie?"

"Morning Pam." I couldn't bring myself to ask the question I so desperately wanted an answer to. If she knew something about Eric she would tell me, right?

"I am calling to inform you of what I know so far. I scanned the area behind your house. He is there. From what I feel through our bond, he has gone to the ground. He has calmed down considerably and seems even a bit content as far as I can tell. I hope that will allow you to rest without worrying yourself to much."

"Gee, thanks, Pam. That's very nice of you to call me with this information, it sure takes a load off of my chest. I really appreciate it." And I sincerely meant it too. Pam has never been this forthcoming and nice to me before.

"I will keep you updated. Now try to find some peace."

Before she could hang up on me again, I quickly said, "Ehm, Pam, I hope you don't mind my asking, but I have to say I'm a bit surprised that you are calling me and parting with this information. Is something up?" I hope she didn't think I was ungrateful or anything.

I could hear Pam's soft chuckle. "Sookie, it is quite obvious that you have feelings for my master. I have seen how you look at him and I heard your cries while I was scanning the area earlier this evening. Of course that alone would never have prompted me to call you, but I know Eric would not want you to worry on his behalf. I also read that disclosing information to another is an important part of friendship, am I wrong?"

Wow, what do you say to that. Pam considered me to be her friend. "You're spot on, Pam. Thank you. This really means a lot to me."

"Don't worry" and with that being said, she hung up again. One of these days, no pun intended, I would really have to teach her how to say good-bye.

And so a new day started. I was missing one lover, but had gained one friend.

* * *

I'm trying to keep the sad chapters to a minimum, so I can get back to the lemons soon. The next chapters will be short and hopefully I will have the next one out by the weekend.

Thank you for your reviews, they mean a lot to me.


	3. Chapter 3: Degausser

Disclaimer: Eric & Sookie do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Charlaine Harris. I'm just taking them for a spin around the block. I might throw in a little True Blood along the way too. Not sure yet.

This story starts during book 4. Eric has lost his memory due to the spell and is staying in Sookie's house. If you need some help remembering what happened in book four of the Southern Vampire Mysteries, I recommend reading MoonStoneFairy89's story The Void. It tells the events from Eric's POV. You can read it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4837242/1/The_Void

My Sookie and Eric are more of a NC17 version compared to Charlaine's rated PG13. My Eric is a bit darker, has a foul mouth, and the sex is very explicit. Consider yourself warned.

So far Eric woke up in Sookie's house with the spell broken. Unaware of what has happened between them, he has sex with her and drinks her blood. With her blood in his body, the memories come trickling into his mind. He runs out of Sookie's house without a word wearing only a pair of jeans.  
Pam sensed something was off and calls Sookie in time to hear Eric's Viking battle cry from the woods behind Sookie's house. Sookie tells Pam all that happened and hangs up, succumbed to crying her heart out. Pam calls later to inform Sookie that she can sense Eric has gone to the ground. She hopes that they will become friends.

The music for this chapter is:  
Song: Brand New Degausser http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=NDrTEoHVYMk&feature=PlayList&p=8DEF829CCF91FF91&index=2&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

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Chap 3 -Degausser: EPOV

I can't shake this little feeling

I'll never get anything right

I'm on my own

* * *

Surrounded by the healing soil mother earth provided for me and my kind, I did the only thing I could think of to calm me down and take the confusing emotions away - I went through each of my forgotten memories. I relived them, analyzed the heck out of them, and drew my conclusions from the occurrences.

Till now it felt like I had downloaded a new movie onto my hard-drive but haven't gotten around to watching it yet. It was there, but I would have no idea what it was about till I actually sat down and watched it. So that was exactly what I did, I watched my own memories. And damn were they hot. I still couldn't wrap my head around Sookie finally yielding to me. I virtually patted myself on my back when I relived the shower scene. It was the perfect opportunity and I took it. No regrets from me and from what I saw in my memory, there were no regrets from Sookie either. I don't think taking a shower will ever be the same again.

Sookie was everything I ever envisioned her to be: beautiful, innocent, fierce, sexy, delectable, funny, forgiving,...the list to describe Sookie is endless. I had wanted her from the first time I layed eyes on her at my bar. And I had told her as much every time I saw her, yet she never wanted me. Why now? What was different? Replaying the scene where she picked me up on the side of the road and brought me to her home, I realized I was vulnerable. Maybe that made me more accessible to her. After all with her being human she was vulnerable too. Was it possible that she thought we had something in common?

Then I saw the scene with Chow watching me clinging to Sookie like a scared child. That wasn't me! And Sookie didn't even seem to mind me acting like a... a total douche. I could almost be thankful that Chow didn't make it. With that display of acting like a wuss around a human, I would have had a tough time gaining back his respect. Sure his fear was easy to be had, but what I prefered from those close to me was respect. Pam was my child and therefore didn't present a problem, but Chow would have been a whole different ballgame. As sheriff that sort of behavior was absolutely unacceptable and could easily get me killed.

That's when it dawned on me, Sookie didn't want me, the respected sheriff, she wanted that weak creature who was dependent on her. She had never yielded to the real me and probably never would have. Yet after only a couple of days with my cursed me she had given in, and that repeatedly. She didn't want _me_ after all. And to think that I had offered to give everything up for her. No wonder she had declined, she never wanted me.

I can't believe I had of all things ended up having feelings for this tiny human. She had played with me, yet wanted no part of my future. Now I had gotten a glimpse of what all those pathetic fangbangers were after when they kept coming back for more. Fuck, it sure isn't nice to be on the other side. Well at least I had enjoyed myself and got plenty of images for the spank bank out of my little adventure with Sookie.

With my memories up to date, that only left me with one thing to do - I had to get over myself & Sookie and carry on with my existence. After all I owned a bar and was sheriff of area 5. There were beings out there that I was responsible for, that depended on me. I may have been disappointed, but I didn't intend to let others down.

After that realization I rose and flew straight home. After a quick shower and change of clothes at my house, I drove right to Fangtasia. I walked in the back door as if I had never been away. Pam noticed my presence straight away and greeted me before I even made it into my office. I quickly pulled her inside and sat down behind my desk.

"Master, its good to see you back in the place you belong. How are you?" Pam was smiling at me. She was truly happy to see me and yet her eyes showed concern.

I decided to come right to the point and back to business. "Fill me in on what has occurred during my absence."

And Pam did just that. She patiently told me about all the new applications to my area, the little disputes and quarrels that were mostly settled by now, changes at the bar, and how she was finding a replacement for Chow. She also told me how she had tortured Harrow to release her spell on me. She was a little hesitant when she informed me that Harrow had died during the day and that I could no longer have the satisfaction of revenge.

"Pam, my child, you did a good job taking over in my absence. I could not have asked for more. Don't worry yourself with my unsatisfied need for revenge. Is there anything else you need to tell me, before I go out front and show myself to the vermin?"

For a moment she looked as if she was going to tell me something, but in the next second she turned away and informed me that that was all the information she had for me.

Next I grabbed my charged iphone from my desk and headed out to my throne. I checked up on the hundreds of missed emails while I let the vermin admire me and the vampires see that their sheriff was back. Reading and answering mails on the tiny phone screen was a test on my patience level, however this way I got two jobs done at the same time with the benefit of keeping my mind occupied.

All too soon my inbox was empty and I started to scan the room. I was surrounded by pale figures dressed in black with an occational sprinkle of color, for the most part red and purple. Not one of them was anything like my Sookie. She had been a candle in a coal-mine when she first came here in that innocent white dress with red flowers. I found myself wishing I had fucked her in that dress while I stayed at her house. It was one of my all time favorite fantasies that I just couldn't get out of my head. It would have been nice to have it fulfilled. Now that I knew what it was like to be inside Sookie that fantasy became even more all-consuming. What I wouldn't do to have her under me with that dress hitched up to her waist. Before I knew it I was sporting a hard-on and it pissed me off. I didn't want to desire her. She had declined my offer to stay with her, why was I craving her like a pathetic little puppy?

Just as my anger at myself had reached a new high a fangbanger had the nerve to approach me. I kicked him not too gently, and left for the seclusion of my office with my hands dug deep in my jeans pockets. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I let my frustration out on my office. I know it wasn't my laptop's fault, nor the fault of the chair, desk, or coach, but I just had to destroy something and those items were easily accessible.

A couple minutes later Pam found me standing in a pile of waste that I formerly called my office. She has a new macbook under her arm and handed it to me with a smile and said "Thanks for single-handedly raising my apple stocks, master."

I had to resist the urge to strangle her. However I didn't suppress a growl. She knew exactly that she would piss me off with that comment and loved it. Grrrr, insolent child.

"Master, why don't you pay Sookie a visit? I know she would be happy to see you and it would improve your mood as well."

"Pam!" I was staring her down through thin slits.

"It was only a suggestion and you don't have to take me up on it. I only had your well-being in mind. You have been chasing her from day one and you truly seemed happy with her these last days, I thought you both had connected. Dear Abby always says once one has found happiness, you have to surround yourself with it, and work hard to keep it. Destroying your office is obviously not making you happy."

Now not only Sookie is driving me insane, my own child has to add fuel to the fire. What has my life become? If I added my queen to the mix, I was surrounded by women who were out to torment me. I dismissed Pam before I did something I would probably regret.

* * *

Remember last week, when I was running my mouth at how I wanted to have this up by the weekend? Yeah, well this proves it, my time-management officially sucks. I'm even a day later than usual. I'll try to be better next time. I could say, I'll try to keep my mouth shut, but me and my hubby both know that would be a lie ;-)

So what do you think about Eric and how he is misunderstanding Sookie completely? That just goes to show you men really are a different species, especially when it comes to Viking vampires. So do you think Pam can make him come to his senses? Or is Sookie the one that should to run to Eric?


	4. Chapter 4: Possibility

Disclaimer: Eric & Sookie do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Charlaine Harris. I'm just taking them for a spin around the block. I might throw in a little True Blood along the way too.

This story starts during book 4. Eric has lost his memory due to the spell and is staying in Sookie's house. If you need some help remembering what happened in book four of the Southern Vampire Mysteries, I recommend reading MoonStoneFairy89's story _The Void_. It tells the events from Eric's POV. You can read it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4837242/1/The_Void

My Sookie and Eric are more of a NC17 version compared to Charlaine's rated PG13. My Eric is a bit darker, has a foul mouth, and the sex is very explicit. Consider yourself warned.

So far Eric woke up in Sookie's house with the spell broken. Unaware of what has happened between them, he has sex with her and drinks her blood. With her blood in his body, the memories come trickling into his mind. He runs out of Sookie's house without a word wearing only a pair of jeans.  
Pam sensed something was off and calls Sookie in time to hear Eric's Viking battle cry from the woods behind Sookie's house. Sookie tells Pam all that happened and hangs up, succumbed to crying her heart out. Pam calls later to inform Sookie that she can sense Eric has gone to the ground. She hopes that they will become friends.  
Under the ground Eric relives every memory while under the spell. He realizes that he had feelings for Sookie and still has them. He hates having feelings. He believes Sookie doesn't want him and feels betrayed. He goes to Fantasia and gets into a fight with Pam, who tells him to go visit Sookie. He is not amused.

The music for this chapter is:  
Song: Lykee Li Possibility http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=DWi0dQpuCI4&feature=PlayList&p=8DEF829CCF91FF91&index=3&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

* * *

Chap 4 - Possibility: SPOV

There's a possibility

All that I had was

all I'm gonna get

All I wanted is gone

with your stare

* * *

I picked up the phone on the third ring.

"Sookie, speaking."

"Hello Sookie, this is Pam. I wanted to inform you that my master has returned to Fangtasia."

"Em, thank you, Pam." Silence. I mean really, what do you say to that? It wasn't a question after all.

"Well will you come visit him?" Pam asked in a very matter-of-fact way, like she was actually expecting me to come running to his side.

What? Why would I do that? He is the one that ran out on me. "I have no intention of doing such a thing, Pam."

"I see." Silence was spreading like the fog under a London bridge in an old Edgar Wallace movie. Time to end this. Now. I could feel the tears welling up again. Damn it, haven't I cried enough?

"Pam, I gotta go. Thank you for calling." And I hung up. I didn't want her to hear me crying. On top of everything else I couldn't deal with her pity. I feel sorry enough for myself, thank you very much. I don't need anyone else. This was a one woman only pity-party. I guess I have not cried enough these last two days. I slump down the wall under the phone and cry till I'm empty.

Cold and stiff, I decide its time for some picking-up. I'm strong, I can do this. I knew when I let myself into this that it wouldn't last. And it didn't. So there. And what exactly does that prove? I asked myself. Well at least I was right. And why does that suck all of the sudden?

Eric was back at Fangtasia, back to being a sheriff. He was where he should be, where he belonged. And that wasn't with me.

I could have had him to myself, but that wouldn't have been right. The only one that would have been right for was me. I couldn't do that to Eric then, so why am I going down that road now? No, I don't want to! Besides I can't change that decision, so I won't regret it either. I decided a long time ago I wouldn't live in the past, so I wasn't going to start now. I'm a Stackhouse, for crying out loud.

After my own little prep talk, I decided to head to bed in order to wake up early and have enough time to pull myself together before work. Tomorrow would be my first shift since the witch war. Sam had given me a couple days off to rest and recuperate. I was on the noon shift tomorrow and I didn't want to attract more attention than necessary. I really wasn't up for 20 questions just now.

I ended up hugging Eric's t-shirt with his fading scent still lingering in its fibers. Pathetic, believe me, I know, however I did manage to fall into a deep sleep. That's gotta count for something.

* * *

I woke up at 9:30 with plenty of time to take it slow. I snuggled under the covers a bit longer, telling myself I could do this. I would do this. It's not like I had much of a choice either. I needed to work. Not only for the money, but also to be around people to maintain my shields up keeping out their thoughts. And not to forget the money.

I went straight for the coffee machine. By the time I was showered and dressed my steaming hot cup of coffee was waiting for me. I relished that part of my day. The first cup of coffee starting a new day was something special, something to be treasured, every day anew. And I made sure to do just that whenever possible.

So there I was, looking out the kitchen window, seeing the suns rays illuminating the sky, making it seem like a beautiful spring day instead of the middle of January. The hot fragrant steam from the cup of coffee in my hand was warming me and made me feel cozy, an emotion I have long associated with the smell of coffee. And where does my mind wander to? Eric. To how his mere presence has always had a soothing effect on me. Even when I met him for the first time at Fantasia, I had not been afraid of him. I was always comfortable around him. And he always made me feel safe.

When I realized I was missing Eric yet again I was angry at myself. I had to get over this. Why was it so much harder than I had thought it would be? I had taken the red pill and decided that I wanted my life to be real. So now I was going to deal with that reality. Jesus Christ Sookie, you're a Stackhouse. You are a strong woman. You can do this.

And I did. I finished my coffee, plastered a smile on my face, and stepped out of my back door into the sunshine. I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sun, basking in its warmth. Ahhhhhh.

By the time I arrived at Merlotte's I had thoroughly convinced myself that everything was going to be fine. It started out well enough, too. The early lunchers were starting to trickle in. I didn't have to rush to take care of their orders and had time to chat here and there. I unintentionally heard their voices every now and then, but I was still pretty much in control.

When all of my tables were no longer in need of my constant attention, I started to relax and let my mind wander for a while. I was staring off into space, lost in my thoughts, when Sam touched my arm to finally get my attention.

"Chere, are you still with us?" he asked with a concerned smile.

"Sure, Sam." I answered a little embarrassed at my obvious slacking off at work. Lucky for me the few customers in my area still didn't require anything from me.

Sam was watching me intently. I know he was just concerned with my well-being, but it still felt like an additional weight on my shoulders. One more thing to worry about when all I wanted to do was get Eric and all the other voices in my head out of there. It was my head, for crying out loud.

At strike 12:00 o'clock it was is if a bus had stopped out front and just dropped everybody all at once. They were actually having to queue to get through the eye of the needle that was the door. In a matter of minutes every single booth in my section was occupied, for that matter all other booths in the bar were too. The sudden uptake in noise had me preoccupied and before I knew it the voices around me were knocking on my shields.

I took a deep breath, a really deep one, you know the kind that feels like you can freeze the world for an instant. I turned around to face the first table on my right. My special Sookie smile was plastered on my face as I concentrated real hard to understand their order, note it, and bring it to the bar. I repeated this action counter-clockwise, table by table, adding taking back out their orders, bringing the checks, and handling the payment to my train of actions. I went around and around till they had all left again to go about their business, like ants streaming out of an anthill.

I let out a deep breath when I realized I had done it. I had made it through the lunch hour rush. I was doing what I had set out to do today and for the first time today there was a real smile on my face.

Sam noticed. Of course he had to notice and just couldn't let it go. "What are you so happy about, chere?"

"Oh, I'm just happy that the world is still turning. After that stampede, I was sure the earth would hop out of its orbit." I added a smirk to my reply. I felt invincible.

Sam's expression shifted from curious to looking a bit startled. Without even realizing what I was doing, I was in his head in time to hear him say to himself, "With that look on her face she reminds me of Northman. At least it suits her a lot better than him. Maybe they really are meant for each other."

That did it. The floodgates burst open and I ran out through the back to the small wooded area behind the employee parking lot.

After letting out a few tears and sobs, I pulled myself together and started to head back. In a couple of hours the dinner crowd would start to come in and there was still a lot to prepare. My plans changed in a second as I saw Sam waiting for me under the back porch the employees used when taking a break. I walked up to him, knowing he wouldn't let this go. But I could at least try. "Sam, can we just let this go? Please?"

"Sookie, you know I'm always here for you, right? Talk to me. One second you were smiling, the next you were in tears. Your emotions are all over the place. What's going on with you?" He threw in the puppy dog look to pull me over. He knew exactly how to get me.

"Damn it Sam, you know I can't deny you anything when you give me that look. It's just this time I really don't think you want to hear about it. I mean you know you are one of my closest friends, but I just don't think that you are interested in hearing about..." My head had dropped and I eyes were locked to the ground as I finished my sentence, "about my man troubles." I added a sigh for good measure.

Sam answered with another question, I hated it when he did that. "Have you talked to anybody else about this?"

Seeing that my answer would not strengthen my argument I was smart enough to say, "I talked to Pam a bit over the phone..." My voice trailed off at the end. I hoped he didn't realize that hadn't really confided in anyone.

"Pam!? Eric's Pam? You two call each other? Why?" I could tell he was truly startled.

I however was pissed. "Yes, Pam Ravencroft. Is there a problem with that? I didn't hide the anger I was feeling from my face.

"Oh no, chere, no, that's fine with me. I'm just a little surprised, that's all." His voice was sincere. I knew he meant what he said and I instantly calmed down.

"How about I make you a deal." He patted at the seat next to him for me to sit down. When I complied he continued, "You tell me about your _man troubles _and if at any time it gets to much for me, I'll let you know and we'll just leave it at that. How does that sound to you? Fair enough?"

Well what do you say to that? There was no way out. He was being a friend, a selfless friend, ...my friend. Maybe it would help if I talked to someone. And being that this concerned the supe world, my human friends were pretty much out of the question. Sam however was a part of that world. With him I could be open and not rethink every word before uttering it. I trusted him. I trusted him to keep my secrets. I should at least give it a try. The way he put it there really was nothing to loose. If he thinks he can take it, who am I to tell him he's wrong. Well there is only one way to find out.

"I don't really know where to start." I say, letting out the breath I was unaware I was holding.

Sam laid his arm over my shoulders before replying, "How about you start by telling me why you burst into tears?"

I tense up when I recall that I had read his mind. "I'm sorry, Sam, I..." I let my head hang and my shoulders droop. "I read your thoughts. I didn't do it on purpose, I didn't intend it to happen, actually I'm not really sure how it happened at all, but I read your thoughts. I really am sorry, Sam."

Sam pulls a bit away to get a look at me. He is wearing a quizzed expression on his face. "Well in that case, I'm sorry my thoughts made you cry. I have to admit I'm a little puzzled. What was I thinking that was so awful?"

"You thought I looked like Eric."

"Is that so bad? I mean you both share the same blond hair and blue eyes. Though he is a giant where you are petite, you do both have a certain glow. You're both so full of life. You are beautiful Sookie even if that means I have to admit the Viking is a handsom man. And that smirk on your face just then, well I had noticed it a couple times before on Northman, that's all."

"It's not what you said, Sam. Your thinking about Eric just brought back what I trying so hard to avoid thinking about all day,..._Eric_."

Sam immediately tensed up and started shaking slightly. He was so furious he could barely contain his rage. "Did he do something to you, Sookie?" Sam was holding me in place by my upper arms, staring in my eyes intently waiting for my answer.

"No, no Sam, nothing like that. In fact he was very caring and gentle when he stayed at my house." I couldn't hold it back any longer. The tears were spilling down my face. I choked up the words "I miss my Eric so much." between sobs.

It took Sam a while to calm me down enough in order for me to tell him what really happened when Eric stayed at my house. I left out the bit where we had sex on and against every surface of my house figuring that was just a little too much information. Sam listened through it all, stroking my hair in a soothing manner, while I spilled my guts to him. I ended by telling him how perfect my Eric was in every way, and now that I had had perfection, it was tough to go around knowing I would never have it again.

"Wow, what can I say. That really wasn't what I was expecting to hear you say, chere. Sounds to me like you fell in love with him. While you could have done better, you sure as hell could have done a lot worse. At least he will be able to protect you."

"Didn't you hear a word I just said? He doesn't want anything to do with me. He ran away from me and hasn't contacted me since. He doesn't want me." My head hangs again in recognition of the reality of my own words. _He doesn't want me._

"Northman not wanting you? Sookie you have got to be joking. That guy has been obsessing about you forever. Probably since he first day he laid eyes on you. Believe me, he wants you." Sam has the nerve to laugh, shaking his head back and forth at my inability to see what in his eyes was obvious.

"Sam you didn't see the look on his face when he left me. It...", my voice broke and I have to pull myself together in order to finish my sentence. "It haunts me." Having said that, I am crying again.

"Aww, come now, Sookie, there there..." Sam was patting my head like that of a puppy. "You know, when I first moved to this neck of the woods, it didn't know much of the vampires living here. It's not like there were any hanging around Bon Temps. The first time ran into Calvin and we recognized each other for what we were, he told me about the area's supes and naturally about Northman. He told me that the sheriff does a good job keeping the vampires in check. Calvin described to me what he looks like and I never encountered him. I heard of this and that through the grape-vine, but our paths never crossed till you went with Bill to his bar. Shortly after that he stopped by one night when you were off for no apparent reason other than checking out the place that you worked at and listening to the chatter of those that were around you. I wouldn't call him a regular after that, but he did stop by every now and then. Since you came back from Dallas, it is like he is around every corner I take. I constantly run into him. He's probably gonna kill me for telling you what I'm about to tell you, so don't tell him, OK?"

He stared me down with his look. Sam really meant what he said. What the hell was going on? I nodded, gulped, and signaled for him to proceed.

"He came to talk to me after Dallas. He actually came to _my_ office and asked for _my_ help. He explained to me that he was not here on official business, or he would have summoned me if that were the case. He told me what you did for his maker. He asked me to keep an eye out for you. He feared that now that other vampires knew what you could do, that you might be taken against your will. He wanted me to be aware of the situation and asked if I would be willing to be a part of your team- of the team of guards he was assembling. He even offered to pay me.."

"What the fuck, Sam!" I basically screamed at my friend.

"Of course I didn't take it. You are my friend, Sookie. I care about you."

"What in God's name are you talking about. I don't have guards." I was bewildered.

"Sookie, since the day you came back from Dallas, you have been guarded at all times. I know you didn't know, but Northman wanted it that way. And I agreed with him. He didn't want you to be scared about what was just a precaution measure. He wanted you to be able to live your life as you chose. He said he owed that to you, after what you did in Dallas for his maker. At night some vampire has always been near by, and often enough he was the one himself. They stayed in the shadows and were not to interfere. During the day it was a bit more complicated because you would notice if the same people kept following you around. He has a whole pack of weres watching you in turn. And when you are here, I watch out for you. Sookie, I need you to understand that you are safe with us around. No one will take you. And no one has tried either. Think of us as a safety net."

I was stunned. I can't believe Eric did all that to protect me. My eyes grew wide when I realized what a fortune that must be costing. "Oh my God, that..."

Sam interrupted me before I could say what I was thinking. He knew me to well. "Sookie, Northman has more connections and resources than you could imagine. I don't doubt he could assemble an army and lead it into battle if that were required. He is very powerful, more than he lets the common eye see."

"I have to tell him to stop this, I ..."

"No Sookie, you promised me. Besides, I trust his evaluation of the situation. He didn't get to be over a thousand years old for nothing. And last, I sleep a lot better at night knowing you are protected. Even if that means by a vampire."

"So are you telling me you and Eric are friends now?" I ask Sam with a incredulous look on my face.

"What? Hell no, he is a vampire. Shifters and vampires don't mix and mingle. We share the same goal, that's all."

Sam held me tight for a minute till I wrapped my head around what he just told me. Then he continued as if he hadn't just told me that I had a shadows or better shadows tagging my every move which I was not aware of.

"So chere, do you want to hear my advice on what you told me?" He actually stopped for me to say that I did. "In that case, I think you are crying about the wrong thing and are just plain scared. From what I can tell from your story the spell cast on Northman made him forget what his job is and anyone he has ever encountered. It didn't make him forget he is a vampire and he was still aware of social conventions. He still knew what was right and wrong, he knew what he liked and disliked. I think you just got to see the man behind the mask. And that man was just as obsessed with you the sheriff of area five is. So in my eyes the real question is not whether or not he loves you, but do you love him enough to want him with the baggage attached."

"I hate you, Sam." I said while hugging my friend.

* * *

Ufff, am I glad I got that over with. Just like I intended, I have been writing a chapter, sometimes two a week since I last posted, however they all happen at a later time in this story, so I can't post them now. Actually I wrote some quite smutty ones in order to bribe my self into writing this one. I have been pushing it in front of me for what seems like forever. Writing from Sookie's POV is hard for me with emotional chapters like this because I'm more the cool calculating type. So I hope I captured her OK. Truthfully, I'm just glad this chapter is over so I can move on. I may have to bribe myself to write the next chapter as well, but after that there is definitely hope on the horizon for these two star-crossed lovers.  
As you may have noticed I added a bit of True Blood into the mix. I just love the character of Godic and those episodes in Dallas are my favorite of the lot. So I pick Godric instead of Appius as Eric's maker for this story. Let me know what you think about it.


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